Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I just got back from California where with a mix of wonder, amazement and pride, I joyously watched my baby boy graduate from The College of Creative Studies at U.C. Santa Barbara.
Looking at my son, John, and his fellow graduates in all their brilliance and creativity, I could see a future of infinite hope and possibility. I could also see...I've been a good Mom.
Well, it's June! School's ending. Summer's starting. I imagine there are a number of ways you might be feeling about that. There's no "right" way to feel, but I'm curious, "How is that for you?"
I really want to support you with exactly the tips you need for calm, confident parenting all summer long! To do this, I need you to answer two questions:
1) "What's your biggest parenting challenge?"
2) "What's the one burning question you wish you could ask me about parenting or discipline?"
You will find a link at the bottom of this post to easily answer these questions for me so I can send my most relevant parenting tips to your inbox every 2 weeks ... cool, huh?
Are you a scary giant?
I know it might sound unreasonable, but when your little one starts to get dys-regulated, (i.e. starts whining, being defiant, or melting down) getting down to your child's level can make the difference between a situation that ESCALATES and one that SETTLES DOWN. So squat down to his or her level and breathe.
Did you know your child could feel threatened simply by you standing over them? It's true! That's because a young child's brain is still dominated by the amygdala, the primitive, survival brain responsible to protect them from danger. Squatting down immediately decreases your child's unconscious fear response and breathing is regulating for you.
From this level it's also much easier to establish eye contact - not by trying to force it, but from a place of calm presence. This kind of eye contact calms your child down and helps you and your child feel closer. Why? Because it releases oxytocin, the anti-stress hormone in your child's brain (and yours too!)
Can you imagine how good it will feel to be the safe haven in the storm rather than the thunder?
P.S. Please go to this link now and answer the two questions. http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/F32MDLD