Holding hands

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Key to Stopping Power Struggles

Welcome to Parenting Beyond Words 2013!

A frustrated mom recently told me that she can't get her 4 year old to do basic everyday things without always having a battle! Another mom and dad I spoke with were having battles with their 8 year old every day at bedtime. Can you relate?

The problem is that we don't always recognize these normal recurrent daily activities as transitions. 

"A transition is any change from one state to another"
For instance: asleep to awake, school to home, play time to bedtime, etc. 
Change causes stress. 
For kids, stress and overwhelm shows up in their behavior. 

What if your child's behavior is the

The Dictionary defines the word, "Clue" as "Anything that serves to guide or direct in the solution of a problem."

Trying to control your child's behavior as the problem leads to more power struggles.Seeing your child's behavior as the clue points you in the direction of a better relationship.

Starting this month, BECOME A DETECTIVE. This will decrease your stress and help you look for ways to connect with your child and make the transitions easier and more pleasant.
Some effective strategies are: 

  • Build in more time for the transition. 
  • Create more predictability (see video link below) 
  • Participate in helping your child do what (s)he needs, as you would help a younger child. 
I'll be going into these strategies in more detail in upcoming posts.

I'd love to hear what you think! Leave a comment below if you'd like.

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