What Change Are You Desiring?

The leaves are changing and fall is in full swing. What change is your heart desiring?

What results are you looking for next as a mom or dad?

One thing I've learned is that without a clear intention of who and how you want to be in the process of getting to your desired result, it can be stressful, frustrating and far from fulfilling! In this video, you'll see how setting an intention can powerfully change the process of getting to any desired result.

I invite you behind the scenes for an intimate look at how I went through the process of my house transformation over the past few months to achieve the gorgeous result I now enjoy. You'll hear my real personal intention I set last May and see how it brought depth and meaning to my experience and allowed me to move forward more freely.

Spoiler alert: You're going to really get to feel how connection matters more than perfection in this first video for you!

I invite you to share your intention below, if you choose. I'd love to hear it or any other comments and questions that came up for you.

    

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Receiving Permission

This month’s blog post is very personal note from me. My intention is that by sharing this piece of my journey it will create a space of permission for you - for whatever it is you require right now.

It’s been 2 years since I came to this home in which I grew up in Massachusetts to care for and be only child to my mom during her final season. The dogwood outside her window accompanied us on that journey as it budded, spring into glorious blossom, basked in its beauty and fully leafed the petals away.

I ended up staying here since then in the embrace of this home I grew up in, while my husband remained in NYC to continue working at his job.

My dogwood accompanies me again as I feel myself opening up to a new level of receiving its beauty and my own. It’s most glorious right outside the bathroom window - perfect for frequent viewing!

And now my heart’s desire is to create a beautiful opportunity for completion by finishing the work of cleaning out the house - taking all the resources I require and releasing everything that no longer serves me.

I’ve decided to allow myself the full experience of this process...and to honor it by choosing to take some things off my plate rather than defaulting to my old pattern of trying to do it all and feeling overwhelmed while trying to convince myself that I am enough.

What do you require permission for?

Warmly in support,

Kathy

Ps: So many of you have me know how much you love the “Quick Notes.” Thank you! I’m enjoying them too. If you haven’t tried them out yet, they’re  a great way to focus, calm and ground you for the day - and only one sentence delivered to your inbox twice a week. Pick them up here: www.parentingbeyondwords.com/quicknotes 

I had the gorgeous opportunity to experience spring in the desert of AZ last weekend (as captured above by my friend, Bea Solya) - Wow! So different from the east coast - love that! And...what a beautiful gift of growth and healing as a woman I was able to receive at the Elegant Femme event I was attending there.

So...Why is a HOLDING HAND sometimes better than a HELPING HAND ?

How hard is it for you to see your child frustrated or unhappy? Don't you sometimes just want to jump in and fix it for them! I know I used to do that a LOT when my kids were small…

It's undenyable that you need to jump in when necessary. However, in order for your child to have the self-confidence you desire for them - the self-confidence that will allow your child to feel really good about him or herself - it's crucial to strengthen you child's inner resources.

My friend, Stacy, posted this true story to fb recently and she said I could share it with you. Out of the mouth of her 3 year old, Sage, comes amazing wisdom!

As we are driving to daycare last week, the kids had whiteboards and they were practicing their letters. This is the discussion:
Stella (age 5): "Mom, I can't write an 'R.'"
Sage: "Stella, we don't say, 'can't' in this family."
Stella: "But I don't know how to do it…"
Sage: "Then you ask for help, sister, or try harder"
Stella: "Can you help me make the 'R' Sage?"
Sage: "No, Stella, I'm 3. I don't know how to make an 'R' but I can hold your hand." (holds out hand, Stella grabs it and tries again)
Stella: "Yay! I did it…I made an 'R'! "

WOW!

It can be hard as a parent to make space for your own uncomfortable feelings that come up when your child is struggling. But the more space you're able to make for your own difficult feelings, the more you can stay present with your child and make room to validate their difficult feelings.

Simply offer to hold his or her hand or calmly sit nearby BEFORE jumping in to help your child AND before he or she melts down. This builds the resilience required to handle frustration, and develop great self-confidence.

Then, rather than praising the result - "Good job!" - which is OUTSIDE your child, acknowledge the quality INSIDE them that you see - "You really stuck to it till you got it" or "You really kept trying, even though you didn't know how to do all of it yet." "Let's finish it together."

I'm curious to hear what you got out of this interaction between Stella and Sage. Let me know by posting below...

If you want to learn even more about how to have the kind of relationship with your child that will build strong self-confidence, pick up my free bonus report today by putting your name and email in the box above.

Daylight Savings with LESS STRESS

It’s daylight savings and you know what that means! Getting your child up in the morning and to bed at night, often two of the main battles of the day, will be even more challenging than usual…

We can reset the clock by simply pushing a button. It’s not as easy to reset our child’s body clock (or ours for that matter.) That’s because the change to daylight savings time disrupts our circadian rhythm, the cycle of our physiological processes over 24 hours. This disruption can cause problems sleeping and eating normally beyond just the time they're happening.
Adjusting to daylight savings time can take a few days or even longer – think major jet lag.

Here are 3 stress to success strategies you can utilize this week to help make the adjustment easier for all of you…

#1 PREPARE BY BEING AWARE

In my parenting tele-class last week I showed how your child’s behavior is a communication of stress and overwhelm. This disruption in circadian rhythm is a form of stress so EXPECT IT to show up in some additional behavior challenges. Then you won’t be taken by surprise!

#2 BUILD IN EXTRA TIME

Clear your plate as much as you can this week and give yourself and your child extra time at BOTH ends of the day. That way YOU will feel less stressed and be able to have more patience to give your child a bit longer to do what they need to do.
#3 BE PROACTIVE RATHER THAN REACTIVE

Invest an extra 5-10 minutes of mommy or daddy time with your child: In the morning when (s)he is waking up and in the evening between dinner and bed (This is where the extra time you built in in #2 comes into play)

This investment will deepen your relationship with your child while saving time and energy in the long run!