Did you know that stress and fear cause your thinking to become confused and distorted and make you forget what you know? If your anxiety and worry about your child seem out of proportion to the current situation, it could be because you are being triggered by a past experience, perhaps even in childhood. In this state of stress, you are not going to be able to think clearly enough to make the best decision you could.
Let's say you are trying to decide whether to give your child freedom in a certain area like going to school by him or her self, staying alone for a given time, or going to the corner store or a friend’s house alone. Naturally, the answer depends on many factors; your child’s age, their temperament, where you live, etc. All the factors need to be assessed from a reasonable, rational place in order to create a safe environment for your child.
The Secret is: Your brain needs to be calm to access that reasonable rational place. What that means is that taking care of your own stress is probably the best thing you can do for your child. As parents, it's easy to think of taking care of ourselves as selfish, therefore, bad. The thing is, your children learn to take care of them selves from how we treat ourselves, not how we treat them! So go ahead and do something you've been meaning to do just for you. You'll feel better and so will your child!
Next week, I'll talk about how what you feel can be even more important than what you say or do!
Would you like help de-activating your triggers? Just email me at kwhithamrn@gmail.com or schedule a complimentary strategy session.
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